Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Marriage Prep Class

This past Saturday mi amor & I went to an 8 hour marriage prep class, it actually wasn't our idea, more of a requirement from the Catholic Church. We were wary of what was going to be said, if it was going to feel like a lecture or a sermon, but in the first few minutes they made it clear that they were not there to convert us, but to help us understand each other and help each other succeed in marriage. The class rocked, seriously. Everything they talked about, we had already discussed as a couple, money, dreams, personalities, communication etc, but it was nice to spend 8 hours really focusing on those issues and focusing on succeeding in our marriage, if we did not have to go to this class I seriously doubt we would spend 8 hours just completely focused on what it means to be married, to talk about conflict resolution, and to learn how to communicate.
Some good points:
  • Talk to each other about what you expect of one another, the traditions you want to uphold, values, attributes, roles and responsibilities.
  • Understand your differences and beliefs.
  • Ask your partner, "what can I do for you?"
  • Realize that there will be challenges to communicating, based on your own personalities and they was you were brought up.
  • Don't say "always" (mi amor is guilty of this, and I do get very annoyed when he says "you always..." so I was very happy they said this.
  • Don't withdrawal (whoopsie this is what I do, so he was happy they said this)
  • Don't play the victim, don't make empty promises and don't trivialize.
They had us answer some questions, were we would write down the answer and then share it with your partner, this was pretty cool and we learned a lot from this. There was also a time they had us stand behind each other with our backs facing each other and then they would ask a questions like, "Getting married, means spending less time with my friends or I should consult my spouse when I make a big purchase" if you said no you raise your hand and if you say yes you cross your arms - Amor & I answered all the questions the same, and when the answer had our hands up we would give each other high fives.
For anyone that has to take these classes, I hope yours goes as well as ours did and for those that don't have to go to these classes, you may want to spend a day with your partner and just talk about how you can learn more about one another, solve conflict and what ways you can communicate better.


  1. Thanks for sharing questions about marriage too. J and I are really excited about the classes we'll take to prepare for our Jewish wedding, for the same reasons you mentioned appreciating this class.

  2. Great set of tips! I loved the pre cana too and it's nice to really vet all these values/perspectives/issues out.

  3. We are taking a marriage preparation course starting next weekend that we're looking forward to. I definitely think it helps!


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